I think back over my accomplishments and the things that I have had the opportunity to do and I smile. I remember the sad broken little girl with straggly black hair and worn, dirty clothes. I contemplate, how did I get here? How was able to over come insurmountable odds? How was I able to break the cycle? How am I not a crackhead, prostitute, or alcoholic? How am I not dead?
The nightmares still haunt me. I often awake fighting off my abusers. But the victory is mine because I overcame. I made it. I am not a statistic. I am a law-abiding productive member of society. I beat my abusers.
My husband and I are leaving this weekend on a 9 night vacation. Oh, I forgot the best part, Grandma is keeping the children. That’s right. Just the two of us. 9 nights and 10 glorious days. What ever will we do?
I am going to see the Grand Canyon. You see, this is a milestone for me because I have always thought of that area of our country as being very spiritual and healing. As a young girl, I always dreamed of seeing this wonder of the world and I imagined the views to be breathtaking and I always thought of throwing all of the pain, abuse, bruises, and tragedy over the edge of the giant gorge and walking away a new person.
I have had the pleasure of traveling all over the U.S. on various vacations with my husband and family. San Diego, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, Washington, D.C., and Wisconsin Dells are the most memorable. Each time we reach our destination, I always think the same thing; How on earth did the daughter of a alcoholic crackhead get here?
The answer is drive. I always wanted to have a better life than the one that was given to me. I used to dream of having a pantry full of food and having enough money to buy all the grapes I wanted. The purple ones, not the green ones. Even at the age of 4, I wanted more.
My drive and determination is what made me overcome. Now I get to see Santa Fe, Carlsbad Caverns, the Grand Canyon, Sedona, AZ and best of all I get to get dressed up in a fancy dress and stand beside the love of my life as we watch his best friend say, “I do”. I am so excited I can hardly wait!
Stay tuned for more as I chronicle my journey from extreme poverty and abuse to my new life of love and happiness.
