Back to School

Yesterday my hubby and I took the kids to Target to finish up our back to school shopping. I stood there amongst the millions of crayons, pencils, notebooks, and pens watching all the moms and dads frantically trying to find that missing item from the list. In our case it was construction paper. I stood there looking at all the parents some were smiling and laughing, most were irritated.

I can’t help it and I do it every year. I guess you could say it is some sort of compulsion or maybe even an addiction, but if the list states  the child needs 1 box of crayons, I buy 3. If the list says 4 note books, I buy 6. If it says 12 pencils, I buy 40. I can’t help it. I always tell my husband the extras are for the children when they do their homework, but in reality, I think they are for me.

As a child in school, supplies were a luxury. Each year, I would give my mom my school supply list hoping and praying  we would get some supplies and each time the school year would start and we would have nothing. No back packs, no pencils or pens, and no paper. The things that a child needs to learn and  flourish, we were denied.

Every year, I would hope and pray that I would be in the same class as a cousin so I could borrow a pencil and a paper to do my work.  I know my fourth grade year, one of my aunts bought the items on my list for me at Christmas. So I went from late August when school started to the end of December without so much as an eraser.

Many times, I would receive poor grades because I never was able to do my homework.  I had nothing to do  my homework with.  School was hard. I was always at the mercy of my classmates to provide me with the things I needed to get my work done.

I failed 6th grade P.E because my mom never gave me $15 for the gym suit that I needed to dress out in everyday.  If there were lab fees, they were never paid and many times I would fail those classes too.

Every year there is always the school fund raiser.  We are all aware of the $20 box of candy that contains 5 pieces of chocolate and the $15 wrapping paper that will maybe wrap one shirt box. We also know how the kids are so excited to sell at least $50 worth of stuff so they can get the 50 cent crappy toy. Well I was one of those kids too. I loved selling that stuff because I always wanted the cool prize. I was in the 3rd grade the first time I remember selling the stuff. I was determined to win the walkie talkies. I wanted them bad. I went to every house that was in walking distance. I also went next door to the grandparents house to use the phone and called everyone on my mother’s side of the family, and she had a huge family. I sold  $196 dollars worth of products. The products came in and I delivered them to the neighbors and collected the money for the products. I talked my grandfather into driving me to town so I could deliver and collect the money from my mom’s side of the family. I had never seen so much money in all of my life. There in my hands I had $196. Those walkie talkies were mine.  I couldn’t wait till Monday morning so I could claim my prize. My grandfather told me to give the envelope to my mom so I wouldn’t lose it.

I woke up the next morning to find the money gone. My parents had spent it on weed, whiskey, and beer. I dreaded going to school. Our school was a firm believer, as many are in the south, of corporeal punishment.  I had failed to produce the money after six weeks so I received a paddling. My mother’s mom, my beloved grandmother, paid the $196 after I told her I was getting paddlings at school because of the money. I never participated in another fund raiser.

So the next time you see that huge box at the entrance of your local store that allows you to drop in some supplies for the kids that don’t have any, please remember my story and help a kids that would other wise have nothing. It is hard to focus on learning when you have to worry about where you are going to get the paper for math class.

Stay tuned for more as I chronicle my journey from extreme poverty and abuse to my new life of love and happiness.