Time 4 Mom » Parenting

First Day of School….

Sandy — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:52:13 +0000

Destiny

I must apologize. I know that it has been awhile since I have written. You see, this has been a very hard week for me. My friends think I am crazy. I actually mourn each year when my children start school.

The kids are all so excited about getting new shoes, their classes schedules, and seeing their friends they have not seen all summer. They can hardly contain their excitement waking up the first day of school a half hour before they need to.

This year was especially hard. You see our oldest, Destiny, started high school. She is almost 15. I look at her innocence and I envy it. I look ahead at all of the things that she has going for her and all the things that are special about her and I thank God that my precious Destiny does not have to endure the things that I did at her age. When I was a freshman, I entered my first foster home.

Destiny has more drive and determination than anyone I know. You see, from her very first breath she has been a fighter. Born 10 weeks early and weighing less than 4 pounds, we were told she wouldn’t make it through the night. Now she is going to high school.

Destiny not only has outer beauty but her compassion for others melts me. She is my little hippie chick. She actually owns a shirt that says, “Hug a Tree”. She is studying Chinese and she has a passion for art. She got that from her dad, I can’t draw a stick man.

Destiny’s biggest problem in life is trying to decided which top goes best with her purple shorts. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?

These are not tears of sorrow, but tears of joy. I rejoice in the fact my children will have their childhood innocence. They will not be forced to grow up fast due to addiction.

Stay tuned for more as I chronicle my journey from extreme poverty and abuse to my new life of love and happiness.

Preparing Children…

Sandy — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:16:45 +0000

As parents we have many jobs. There are the obvious ones like providing them a safe place to live, feeding and nourishing them, clothing them, and loving them. Sure there are kids out there that don’t even have these basic needs met but I think we can all agree this list is pretty accurate of a child’s basic needs. But what about the more complex needs? What about the needs that produce self-sufficient members of society?

I often wonder if I shelter my children to much and probably by today’s standards I am more strict than most parents. I see kids walking around our neighborhood at 9 and 10 o’clock at night. This really bothers me. I would never let my young kids wonder the neighborhood that late at night. Am I too strict? Am I not allowing my children enough freedom? Maybe so, but I don’t think I am going to change my mind.

As the mother of 4 children, I see a lot of kids come and go from our house, which is great because if the whole neighborhood is at my house, I know where and what my children are doing. I want to be the cool house that all of the kids go to. The money that I spend on snacks and sodas will be well worth it.

With all these kids that come and go it amazes me that most of these children do not do daily chores. Their parents do everything for them. It also amazes me that these kids also get an allowance for things that I would consider being a contribution to the family. Really? I do not give my kids an allowance.

I give my children chores because I want them to be self-sufficient members of society when they leave my home. I want them to be able to know how to do laundry, wash a dish, prepare a meal, and live in a filth free house. If I do not teach them this, how else would they know?

Since my children were walking, they have all had age appropriate chores. Destiny, our 14 year old, cleans the kitchen after every meal. Ethan, who is 10, is responsible for the trash and recycles. Amber, our 9 year old, gathers and sorts the laundry and Anah, who is 6, sets and cleans the table after every meal. They all take turns helping me in the kitchen and Ethan helps me with the yard work since dad is allergic to grass.

As my children have grown, their responsibilities have increased more and more. Am I wrong for making my kids pitch in? I don’t think so. What is your opinion on children doing work around the house and should they be paid for doing said work?

Sandy

Stay tuned for more as I chronicle my journey from extreme poverty and abuse to my new life of love and happiness.

Mommy Time…

Sandy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:15:30 +0000

As mothers we are always doing for other people but seldom do for ourselves. Well ladies it is time to break that cycle. For all that we do, we deserve a little “me” time. Mothers never get a break. We are always on duty. Even if you have to stay up 30 minutes later or wake up 30 minutes earlier you will enjoy the time that you get to yourself.

So make 30 minutes for yourself each day. You will be happier for it and as the saying goes if Mama is happy, everyone is happy.

Kids Today…

Sandy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:54:27 +0000

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am not the June Clever type of mom. I like to call myself a “modern traditionalist”. I do believe that children should respect their elders, behave in a grocery store or any other public venue, and mind their parents.

It drives me batty when I see a child in a grocery store pitching a tizzy fit and the parent is counting to three, then five, then she or he eventually runs out of fingers.Why don’t parents these days have the balls to discipline their children? It seems that parents are afraid to make their children behave. The children are definitely in charge these days. Come on parents. It only takes a little bit of time to turn that monster into a loving, well-mannered child. All you need is a clear set of age appropriate rules, consistency, and patience. All of your fellow citizens will appreciate your effort and your life will be a great deal better too.

What are some of your tricks that you use to discipline your children?